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Events That The Olympics Should Have
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HammerBioLizard
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Post: #1
Events That The Olympics Should Have
In this thread, we talk about new events which would make the Olympics better. I'll start.

One Millimetre Dash: The first to run one millimetre wins! An ultra high-speed camera is used to determine the winner.

500 Meter Gish Gallop: Your goal is to run 500 meters while continuously making pseudo-arguments. You lose if your opponent gets a word in edgewise.

Mental Gymnastics: You are shown tons of evidence which proves that Donald Trump is a racist and you have to truly believe that he din do nuthin.

Controller Toss: See how far you can throw your controller after losing in Super Smash Bros.

Farting Contest: Self-Explanatory

Nerdy Sword Fighting: Two players fight using swords that resemble Cloud's sword from Final Fantasy. If the fight ends in a draw (which would likely happen all the time) the winner is the one who managed to lift the sword off the ground first.

Steroid Contest: Two women inject themselves with steroids over a two-hour period. In the end, the winner is the woman with the longest clitoris ... though the loser will still get points if she has girth.

Border Crossing: See how many drugs you can smuggle across the border in your asshole without being caught.

Black Friday Shop-Off: See how many toys you can buy in 10 minutes! All participants may wear golf shoes for easy trampling.

Hungry Hungry Hippos: Boys play chess. Real men play Hungry Hungry Hippos.
03-07-2018 02:30 AM
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Captain Jigglypuff Offline
Hey! Don't pawn your trash on me!
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Post: #2
RE: Events That The Olympics Should Have
You forgot Drag Queen Death Drops! Drag queens simply do a death drop while wearing heels.

Helga: So I'm not Kate Moss. Big deal.
Milo: Kate Moss isn't stuck in a sewer.
Helga: Gee I don't know. When you think about it is there no sewer BIGGER than the world of professional modelling?
˜The Oblongs



[Image: rarity-press-b_o_591315.jpg]
03-07-2018 03:06 AM
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Grey Area Offline
 
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Post: #3
RE: Events That The Olympics Should Have
Vape tricks.




There are no atheists when the toilet water is rising.
03-07-2018 04:42 AM
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Luke Mauser Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Events That The Olympics Should Have
Whe I was a teenager, we had a 'textiles' class at school, in which we were expected to make an item of clothing for use in a given sport, and to write an essay about the rules of that sport.

I insisted that I wanted to choose Pig Hurling as my sport. I told the teacher and my class mates that this was a real sport, in which sturdy men from the North of England throw the carcass of a recently deceased adult pig, the aim being to achieve the greatest distance. People actually believed this was a real sport, as there was no internet in those days to check things on!

I was going to make a flat cap as my item of sportswear, but the teacher made me choose another sport as she deemed Pig Hurling to be in poor taste!

History is the lies of the victors coupled with the delusions of the defeated. It is an imagined certainty created at the point where the imperfection of memory meets the inadequacy of documentation.
03-07-2018 07:51 PM
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