Events That The Olympics Should Have

[HammerBioLizard]

In this thread, we talk about new events which would make the Olympics better. I'll start.

One Millimetre Dash: The first to run one millimetre wins! An ultra high-speed camera is used to determine the winner.

500 Meter Gish Gallop: Your goal is to run 500 meters while continuously making pseudo-arguments. You lose if your opponent gets a word in edgewise.

Mental Gymnastics: You are shown tons of evidence which proves that Donald Trump is a racist and you have to truly believe that he din do nuthin.

Controller Toss: See how far you can throw your controller after losing in Super Smash Bros.

Farting Contest: Self-Explanatory

Nerdy Sword Fighting: Two players fight using swords that resemble Cloud's sword from Final Fantasy. If the fight ends in a draw (which would likely happen all the time) the winner is the one who managed to lift the sword off the ground first.

Steroid Contest: Two women inject themselves with steroids over a two-hour period. In the end, the winner is the woman with the longest clitoris ... though the loser will still get points if she has girth.

Border Crossing: See how many drugs you can smuggle across the border in your asshole without being caught.

Black Friday Shop-Off: See how many toys you can buy in 10 minutes! All participants may wear golf shoes for easy trampling.

Hungry Hungry Hippos: Boys play chess. Real men play Hungry Hungry Hippos.

[Captain Jigglypuff]

You forgot Drag Queen Death Drops! Drag queens simply do a death drop while wearing heels.

[Grey Area]

Vape tricks.

[Luke Mauser]

Whe I was a teenager, we had a 'textiles' class at school, in which we were expected to make an item of clothing for use in a given sport, and to write an essay about the rules of that sport.

I insisted that I wanted to choose Pig Hurling as my sport. I told the teacher and my class mates that this was a real sport, in which sturdy men from the North of England throw the carcass of a recently deceased adult pig, the aim being to achieve the greatest distance. People actually believed this was a real sport, as there was no internet in those days to check things on!

I was going to make a flat cap as my item of sportswear, but the teacher made me choose another sport as she deemed Pig Hurling to be in poor taste!