Kids are now worse than ever

[MM]

I have been working for a family for 5 months. Usually the kids are bad for me for the first two weeks or so. These kids are getting worse. They are rude to my face in front of the parents. They lie, sneaking, refuse to do as asked (such as come to eat a meal or practice piano), throw their belongings around. Usually the mother just ends up yelling at them.

I am not understanding who is influencing them to do this. The former nanny quit to go back to school but that was cancelled due to covid. She comes in once per week to clean on the day I am not there. I fear she is telling the kids to be bad so I will leave and she can come back. I never met her but the employer insists that she has never stole anything or done anything bad.

I want to quit but my husband does not want me to and tells me if I get another job then it might not last. I try to give suggestions to the parents but they seem hopeless to discipline these kids in anyway that works. I actually should stop caring and just do what I have to do there.

Due to covid I have lost my other two part-time jobs which were reduced hours even before covid and one was not going so well. Plus I had a car accident recently (not my fault) and I have a brain injury so getting another job that is more demanding is not possible.

If I got covid and died I would not care except my family would likely get it from me and they don't deserve that. I am tired of trying. I do have a few activities that I can do at home that I enjoy. Other than those, my life is just meaningless.

[skyblue1]

Bratty kids.. Hate them

[142857]

My kids are respectful, they just seem to have picked that up naturally. But getting them to do chores or come downstairs for meals is almost impossible.

2020 sucks, a lot of people are suffering. I hope you get through these next few months. I

[MM]

Things are slowly improving. Naturally the kids are sufferings as they are trying to get back to the all day school routine from staying at home since March.

I try to lay out about five rules and expected behaviours for after school.
1. Wash your hands
2. Give me your lunch bag and face masks to wash
3. Eat your food leftover from lunch or small snack since dinner is about 30 minutes away
4. Do your homework or practice piano
5. No screen time unless computer for homework.

The older one can follow all the rules except for #5 which I suspect he tries to get away with because the stairs creak when I come up to check and he switches back to homework from a game. The younger one will go into his brother’s room and won’t leave, won’t practice piano, do homework and just bug his brother. His brother tells him to get out because he is studying. Short of trying to drag him out which I won’t do, he won’t leave.

They also lie about washing their hands. I had to scare them about their parents getting covid because they really don’t wash their hands even after pooping. The younger one often will not come for dinner or he just won’t eat and suddenly he is hungry 30 minutes later.

Yes, I have to do all this because it is my job. The parents usually come home after kid meal time and I have to clean up.

I usually try to correct this bad behaviour when kids are younger. Almost impossible when kids are older. Even bribing them does not make a good habit. For example offering them a reward for making their bed everyday for a month. You would think that would create a habit and they would like having some order around them. That girl ended up super tidying her room during covid because she had video calls from her room.

The parents claim the former nanny was too lenient. I think the one they had when they were babies must have been just awful.

Anyway mostly I just come there do some laundry, then cooking, tidy up and I get the kids at the half way point of my 5 hr shift.

[MM]

Found out the kid does not understand multiplication. I had asked the parents in the spring if he knew all his multiplication tables and they told me he did. Now the parents know he does not. Kids laughed at him at school because he does not know how to do multiplication. He was very upset.

I got a whole bunch of resources for teaching multiplication and drilling and emailed to parents. Hopefully this will help. Somewhat I feel a failure about it even though it is not my fault. My husband told me that I shouldn’t care so much for the families I work for.

[MM]

Kid is just as bad. Likes to act like a 3 yr old even though he is 9. So I treated him like a 3 yr old today only I accidentally scratched him, so he said. He might have scratched himself. So the parents told me not to “interfere” when they are at home. The point being when they parents go out the kids wouldn’t obey or respect me the either. The mother would prefer me to phone her when the kids are bad so she can yell at them and punish them later. His future does not look too good, so sad.

[MM]

Apparently the parents want a robot who cooks and cleans and has nothing to do with the children except when they go out. So I am going to do that for a few weeks. I am just not going to be around the kids as much as I can.

The whole problem started when the older child wanted the younger one to stop bothering him and leave his room. I intervened. I asked the kid to leave three times and he won’t. So I picked him up and carried him out. So fuck that kid. I will let him eat with his hands, act like an animal, grow up illiterate. I have no leverage to reward or correct the children, so why bother? As soon as I can get another job I am out of there. They don’t appreciate me.

[MM]

100% believe parents are lying to me most of the time. Normal 9 yr old kids don’t have tantrums.

[skyblue1]

I thought all kids had tantrums from time to time

[MM]

So I decided to have nothing to do with the kids when the parents are home. When the parents are not home they have a five point routine. I will ask three times and then call parents because they seem to want that. The parents yell and pinch the kids but I don’t like that. I give up trying to help them. I should know better than to do more than the bare minimum.

I am looking for another job.